Stop the Blame Game

I have said in the past and even people say it too… The reason why our spouse or your spouse failed/got caught in his/her mess was because he/she had an open door. While this may be true in some essence, where were you? Where were you to cover him in prayer and to pray with him about the issue? Maybe God revealed it to you but you were too caught in your own world to see these red flags. I say this because too often we play the blame game. “It was your fault because you allowed it to go beyond what it was supposed to. You didn’t watch out for yourself, or prevented it from happening. You are so weak. Why can’t you just change? I warned you about it but you didn’t care”.We grumble and complain on and on about what our spouse has done wrong but don’t take the time to speak positive things, to speak life to and to prayer for our spouse. Why???? I believe it’s just one factor at play here…… SELF!!!!!

It’s always about us. How we feel, what we want, where we want to go, why it needs to be done for us…. It’s all about us, when really it should be ALL ABOUT CHRIST! Everything we do should be about bringing glory and honor to God. (Ref. 1 Corithians 10:31 and Colossians 3:17) We are instructed by God’s word to bring honor to Him. “That everything we do should bring glory to Him”. So when we are faced with situations where our spouse has failed us in one way or another we have no one to blame but us. When we get married it’s a vow to love and cherish. It’s not a, “your thing” but an “our thing”. Why do we fail to remember the vow we made before Christ? Please do not even for one second point a finger at your spouse, look at your own life. Reflect upon your life and assess where you have fallen short in the call placed on your life as a spouse. Yes being married is practically going into to ministry automatically. We are to show others how to love sacrificially. We are to stand and support our spouse not destroy them. Stand in the gap for him/her, for the weaker vessel, and the weaker one isn’t always the female. Women and men in this marital journey, your marriage is stronger when you get on your knees. Instead of calling all sorts of evil on your spouse speak life. Believe and begin to speak into your marriage what God says about marriage in His word. So that open door your spouse might have fallen from is partly due to your poor and negative attitude to truly and sacrificially love him or her. What I love about God is that He is a God who is merciful and gives a second chance.

Start NOW!



Ask the Lord to forgive you

Ask Him to teach you how to become a Kingdom wife or husband, one with purpose, to love your spouse just as He loves you.

Once you do this with a sincere and willing heart you will receive the help and direction you need. Just be obedient to whatever He is instructing you to do.

Always remember to spend time in prayer, every minute or second you get. Always spend time covering your spouse in prayer and covering your marriage. Put on the full Armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Speak only Godly life changing affirmations into your spouse’s life and over your marriage.

Always Pray Together!!!

Through the process you also must allow God to work within you. YOU MUST. It’s no joke. I am serious. It’s not only your spouse who needs to change for the better; YOU DO TOO, sometimes a lot more than your spouse. Stop the blame game, it’s annoying and immature. It’s about time we grow up and accept responsibility for our poor and negative destructive actions. Allow God to change you through the process, trust in Him and watch how things will fall in place without your assistance this time. One thing we need to learn to accept; God does not need your assistance in fine tuning, and re-building your broken marriage. It’s broken in the first place because of your stubbornness, because you rejected His offer too be the Head of your marriage and home, even the very decision to get married to your spouse. At this point this mess you’re in is truly because of pure pride, selfishness and disobedience; trying to handle things in your own personal therapeutically worldly way. We have forgotten that Christ is the truth and the life…He is the only One who can save your marriage in spite of how messy it is. Even if you may think it’s irreparable, that’s a stronghold over your mind and I break it in Jesus Christ’s name. It is broken. The bible reminds us in Matthew 19:26, Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.. What??? Do you think He is lying because you have tried it in “man’s way” and they failed you? Please go back and read this verse and this time allow it to sink in deep into your soul and spirit even into your bones and marrow, deep down into your thoughts and heart.

 “With man this is  impossible , but with GOD ALL things are Possible.” 

I hope this time it made some powerful life changing impact to your thought life. Begin to speak it into your life and marriage. With God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Forget about what people have said, because if God says it’s possible then IT IS POSSIBLE!!! End of story!!!

This change will only first begin with YOU!! What will you decide?

Like God told me before I began the process with Him. Choose between me or your husband? In order words whom will you serve? Man or God?

Only God can restore your marriage!

Only God can turn your mess into a beautiful message!


And remember it’s not about You!!! It’s about the glorification of God!!!!

Other Reference: Ephesians 5:21-33.

Speak the word into your marriage


I am not only speaking to those with big marital issues. I am speaking on all marital issues big or small. It’s those things we consider insignificant which can have a destructive impact on the marriage. So please do not discount the little things God is speaking to you about to change. Get to changing them now!